How do you know when to give up in a bad relationship?
by admin on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010 | 11 Comments
When do you stop trying to make things better?
I don’t think we should run at the first hurdle but how much should you put up with?
I’m talking about emotional and controlling behavior, vast differences on outlook on life.
In cases of physical abuse that’s when you run!
no, mental abuse would make me run, too. When you are not best friends any more, don’t enjoy each others company, to me it’s pointless.
You know you have given up when you don’t feel any doubt.
To me, a bad relationship is like a locked door. Trying to make it work out takes lots of work just like it would take lots of banging to break the door down and open it. Comes the time you have a pretty messy thing on your hands.
<---MARLA THE MISTRESS
YOU STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT BETTER IF YOURE "CONSTANTLY" TRYING TO MAKE IT BETTER.
With me there is a switch inside my head that tells me, enough! When it trips it’s over, there is no more love no more talk, I’m just through.
Emotional and controlling behavior only escallates and gets worse. With me—at the first sign of either I am long gone.
emotional and controlling behavior show up way before the physical abuse starts.
I’m of the opinion you run when you’re clear you’re with someone who is controlling and/or mentally and/or emotionally abusive because while not all controlling people become physically abusive, they are all abusive in some way that is intolerable for a decent/healthy quality of life.
You need to realize when you don’t have control of your own life, is when you need to get out of the relationship.
When my ex husband started calling me names and talking “smack” it was hard to walk down the street and get away from him when he would come out in just his socks and follow me for 1/2 a mile just to yell and taunt me. I stayed with him, he kept telling me that he was going to change, he would be better. If I had a bruise on me, than he would apologize that he would never do it again. I thought I had no where to go. After 3 years of marriage and 4 years knowing this man was never going to change, I finally left him. He hit me, beat me, raped, financially abused, mentally abused, emotionally abused me.
It’s better to get out now.
When you’ve tried over and over to fix it, to make it work, but it doesn’t improve.
When you cannot communicate with the other person at all.
When they constantly take without giving in return.
When they make it clear that your feelings are unimportant.
When you care more about them than they do about you.
When there is ANY type of abuse.
When they don’t respect you.
When you realize that you deserve better.
I’m going with one year.
Change isn’t easy and doesn’t happen over-night.
If you keep at things for a year, and a year later you still feel as distraught as a year ago… then you’ve done what you can and it’s time to move on.
I guess we’ve been at things for eight/nine months now and things are much better.
Great answers. And I’ll add…most women that ‘think’ they can handle it will get to the 20 year mark, and realize, they Have to get out to keep their sanity.
**for mental abuse