OK, so this may be a little long but my girlfriend (24, good job, great girl) of over 3 years told me (27, same) she needed a break about a month ago bc she lives next state over from me (about an hour away) at home and has for a couple of years bc she was saving up to buy a house. She said she didn’t know if moving her whole life to where I am is the right thing to do bc all of her friends and family are near her hometown.
Until then, we had been nearly a perfect couple, no jealousy, not a ton of arguing (mostly stupid stuff when drinking), her family loves me, her friends love me…none of the usual signals for breakup.
She said the main reasons pertaining to me are that I own a small business and I am training to be a full time fireman, and with my business, it was just really starting to own me over the last couple years…I was late for everything, had to bail for some stuff, and was generally short on time and sometimes overly stressed bc of work. I thought for the longest time ‘no big deal’ bc she is a nurse and her schedule is very all over the place too, so it just kinda seemed like that was where we were right now which was fine bc it seemed like we were meant to be together so lets get our work done now. The other was that at times there was just miscommunication, and this stuff she said over time drained her and made her not 100% positive in the relationship.
That said, my theories here are that A. she was posed with a choice between two extremes as far as where to live, B. she has 5 really good friends who one is married w/ a baby on the way, two engaged living with her fiance, three moving to chicago to be with her soon to be fiance, four terrible friend (every girl has one), and five single girl doing the living in the city thing (this one loves me and is in no way encouraging my ex to be club hopping slut or anything like that). So I feel like she is just in a panic over feeling like shes losing her friends, and the living situation, and got nervous over me bc she didn’t want to move near me only to be ‘alone’.

So for the past month it started out a little rocky, then I spend a few days trying to fix things, then another week giving her some space and then things started to get friendly again and we hung out, kissed at the end of the night and spoke almost daily for a couple weeks, then she cancelled plans to hang out and said as much as she wants to, she doesn’t want me to get the wrong impression bc she is happy on her own for a bit.
I then told her about one of my friends who recently went through the exact same thing, then took a month of no contact after the month like the one we had just had and things are better than ever with his girl. I told her that is what I thought we needed to do.
She agreed and I asked for some rules bc it eliminates grey area, and she said she would rather call us ‘broken up’ than ‘fixing things’ so she’ll know that if she is having feelings and thoughts it is meant to be.
I am ok with that bc I feel like she needs that title to define her feelings, but I am worried the no contact thing may lose her.
The next day I ups’d all of her stuff to her and gave her a heads up so she would know it wasn’t out of anger but that I didnt want any temptations to call her during the no contact time. She said that made her said but appreciated the heads up.
I also defriended her on facebook but didn’t block her so that she can still check on me, again so I wouldn’t be tempted to check on her. She called me crying bc she thought I was super mad at her and I explained that I wasn’t and that the no contact/clear your head break was what I wanted to but there were things I needed to accomplish before I was ready, which at this point I had. Those were: Let her know how I feel without it sounding like desperation, let her know I am in no way angry, and let her see that I have made drastic changes in my time management (the root of her frustration with me) and although I know time shows permanence, at least she could see the groundwork there. She agreed that it made sense.

Anyways I know this was long but my question is where do you see this going. This girl is perfect and the most honest person I have ever met so I believe her when she says its not about seeing other people, and her friends have all said her biggest obstacle is herself and figuring out her priorities. She said she loved me when we last spoke before the no contact thing started about 5 days ago, and she keeps saying all the ‘if its meant to be…”, and “we’ll know if its right…” stuff and her friends also agree with me that she wouldn’t leave the door open if it were in fact said and done, she is just so confused and trying to sort her life out right now…

Thought? The time is killing me but I am dealing, I went to an acupuncturist, I am working out and hanging out with friends to stay busy, and I am just trying to work on the things that bugged her. I just don’t understand why there are so man